First of all... I'd like to say a big thank you to Andrea, Ed and Casey for their responses to my "Pickle"... Even though Ed did sit on the fence, Andrea and Casey (As only real girlfriends can) gave it to me straight up and for that I love you!!! You are both extrememly wonderful and beautiful women!

I have made up my mind about the job offer and I have already spoken to the principal at Mount Gravatt this morning regarding my decision.

Is there any need for a drum roll??

Anyway, I decided not to take the position. I explained that full time work is not for me just yet. I did after all promise myself that I would take the first year off for Elli and I can't go back on that or I would be really disapointed in myself. She's way to precious and adorable to miss out on. I did also promise myself some time for me. Time to do "stuff" and time to get my body back from my pregnancy and all those selfish (shellfish) nights of over indulgence i.e. chocolate or ice-cream feasts... (Droooool...)

You will all be pleased to know that I went for a walk this morning. Not just any walk, but an "exercise on purpose" walk. I got up at 7:20 and gave Ellianah her breakfast and a bottle. Then I put on my dancing shoes... Umm... I mean my walking shoes and hit the road. I walked from Power Street, along Tennyson Street, down Thackeray Street, accross Norman Avenue to the bike/walk way and followed that round past the shit smelling creek to the train station and up Corrie Avenue, then up Norman Avenue and round Railway Parade, up Little Power Street and followed Power Street til I got home(so many hills for such short legs). Not only did I drag my sad arse all that way, but I pushed an unwilling pram with a 2 tonne baby in it as well. Needless to say that I felt wonderful when I got home and extremely proud of myself. I'm even considering another walk this afternoon if it doesn't rain. When Adam woke up, he saw me in my runners and said "Are you going somewhere?" to which I replied "Nope - I've been and come home". He had a very big grin on his face and told me he was very proud of me.

So what was my motivation?? Well, I looked outside once I had given Elli her breakfast and saw what a lovely morning it was and so off I went. I think it might have also been my weekend. The boys did their 12 km run and we went to the beach and I guess somewhere inside of me I want to be one of those fit people as well. I dont think i'll ever want to run 12 km, but I'd like to know that if I did, I could.

Once upon a time I was VERY fit. At school I was always big for my age. Due to a hormone imbalance my body grew faster than my age and so by the time I was 11 I was in the body of a 16 year old. It never stopped me from doing anything but it didn't matter how much I exercised or how well I ate (and I hardly EVER at junk food - we were so pov we couldn't afford it!!) I didn't lose weight. Now I realise it was because of my hormones and no matter what my body was going grow. I guess I gave up on all my healthy habbits because I couldn't see it working for me. But I look back now and I can see that it was all my physical activity keeping me in check. I used to be a champion swimmer and a great dancer. I played netball and was an unbeatable shooter. I played softball as the last batter, walked EVERYWHERE, rode my bike till everything fell off, did karate with my Dad, water aerobics with my Mum and in door volley ball. What happened I hear you say? Two words. HIGH SCHOOL!! I guess i got too cool, too lazy and wrapped up in friendship, boys, music and academics.

I have so many life style goals for myself and I think I am scared of avhieving them r worried that I wont be strong enough to get there... But then I look at everything else I have achieved and I ask myself what is different about these goals to the others that I have already achieved? Maybe it's the physical labour? I don't know. Anyway... I was looking through the latest photos Adam put up, particularly the ones of Debbie's Hens weekend (Which was so FUN!!!!) and I see myself then, and though I was not a skinny minny - I still looked waaaaay better than I do now... A little depressing...

Sorry for such a long post... I didn't mean it to be quite so long.

Love from Née-Finding-The-New-Née (One day at a time...)